we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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