Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
