tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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