I love black thongs
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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