I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
ttyl tear gas
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
