After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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