Non-Jews are for practice
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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