he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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