Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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