it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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