I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
