She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize