So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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