Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
