What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
