Where did you get a picture of my penis
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
