just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
