We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize