I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
