So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
