So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Come see our sink grown plant.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
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