Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Randomize
