i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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