he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
