Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Randomize
