and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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