If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
