Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
