She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
