Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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