i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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