how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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