dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
