Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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