there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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