Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
