Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
