i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize
