Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
