cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
