wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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