I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
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I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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