So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
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The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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