I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
