No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
