She's JV to your varsity
Its about making memories worth repressing
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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