I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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