And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
