I swear she didn't look like that last week.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
it glows. i had to have it.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
