Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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