yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
jump out the window naked night went bad
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
