i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
