If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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