I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
My feet surprised me
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
