My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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