I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Randomize
