I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Randomize
