Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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