hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
